[1.2.2] And how shall I call upon my God, my God and my Lord? For yea indeed shall I call the Lord Himself into me whenever I shall call upon Him. Where is it within me whither may come my God into me? Whither may God come into me, God who made heaven and earth? Is that correct, O Lord, my God? Is there anything within me which may grasp Thee? Or even yet, doth heaven and earth, which Thou made and in which Thou made me, grasp Thee? Or since without Thee whatever that is would not exist, doth it follow that whatever that is may grasp Thee? Therefore, since I also am, why do I ask that Thou come into me, who would not be unless Thou wouldst be within me? For not indeed am I in Hell, and yet even so Thou art there, for even if I will have fallen into Hell, Thou shalt be there. And so I would not be unless Thou wouldst be within me. Or rather, I would not be unless I would be within Thee, out from whom all things, through whom all things, and in whom all things are? Rightly so, O Lord, rightly so. Whither do I call upon Thee, since I am within Thee? Or whence may'st Thou come into me? For whither shall I withdraw beyond heaven and earth, so that thence into me may come my God who hath said, "It is I who fill up Heaven and Earth"?
[1.3.3] And so, do Heaven and Earth grasp Thee, since Thou dost fill them up? Or dost Thou fill them up and something of Thee is left over, since they do not grasp Thee? Whither dost Thou pour out whatever it is which is left over from Thee after Thou hast filled up Heaven and Earth? Or dost Thou hast no need to be bound by anything, Thou who bind'st all things, since the things which Thou fill up, Thou fill up by binding them? For vessels which are full of Thee do not keep Thee safe, because if those vessels break, then Thou will not be poured out. And when Thou will have poured out above us, not down dost Thou lie, but up dost Thou lift us, nor art Thou scattered asunder, but together Thou dost bind us. But all things which Thou fill up, with all of Thee in Thy entirety Thou dost fill up all things. Or because all things cannot grasp Thee in Thy entirety, do they then grasp a part of Thee and each and every thing grasps that same part at the same time? Do singulars grasp Thee singly, bigger things more of Thee, and smaller things less? Then does it follow that some part of Thee is larger, some part smaller? Or is it that Thou art whole and entire everywhere and no thing grasps Thee in Thy entirety?
[1.4.4] What art Thou, my God? What, I ask, art Thou if not the Lord God? For who is lord besides our Lord? Or who is god besides our God? Thou, the most high, the best, the most powerful, the most all-powerful, the most merciful and most just, the most remote and most at hand, the most beautiful and most strong, the most steadfast and most misunderstandable, unchanging yet changing all things, never new yet never old, renewing all things and leading the proud into their old age -- and they know it not. Ever in action, yet ever at rest; gathering, yet not in want, sustaining, filling up, and protecting all, creating and nourishing and finishing, seeking and yet no thing lies outside Thee. Thou love'st; Thou dost not seethe with rage; Thou dost burn with concern and yet Thou art free from care; Thou dost feel sorry and yet Thou art not hurt; Thou art angry and yet Thou are calm; Thy works Thou alter'st, but Thou alter'st not Thy design; Thou dost take back what Thou dost find and yet never hast Thou lost anything. Never art Thou wanting and yet Thou rejoice'st at Thy gains; never art Thou greedy and yet Thou dost take out interest, though more and above is withdrawn from Thine accounts so that Thou dost become a debtor; and yet, who doth possess anything which is not Thine? Thou return'st debts owed to no person, as if Thou wert the debtor, for Thou forgive'st debts and lose'st nothing. And what hath we said, my God, my life, my holy delight, or what doth someone say when saieth he about Thee? And woe to those silent about Thee, since the talkative have nothing to say.
[1.5.5] Who shall grant me to rest within Thee? Who shall grant me so that Thou may'st come into my heart and make it drunk with Thee, that I may forget mine evils and embrace mine only Good, which is Thee? What art Thou to me? Have mercy so that I may speak, what is my very person to Thee that Thou bid'st Thee to be loved by me and, unless I do so, Thou may'st grow wroth with me and threaten me with far-reaching woes? Is this a small concern, then, if I do not love Thee? Nay! not for me! Tell me by Thy mercy, O my Lord God, what Thou art. Tell my soul, "I am thy salvation" -- tell me so that I may hear it. Lo! the ears of my heart are before Thee, Lord -- open them and tell my soul, " I am thy salvation." I shall run after this voice and I shall hold fast to Thee. Hide not from me Thy face. I shall die not so that I shall die, but so that I may see Thy face.
[1.6.6] Narrow is the house of my soul whither Thou may'st come to it -- let it be renovated and enlarged by Thee. It is in shambles -- restore it. It possesses things which may offend Thine eyes. I confess and I know it. But who shall clean it? Or to whom else besides Thee shall I shout, "From my secret sins cleanse me, Lord, and from other sins spare Thou Thy servant"? I believe, and on account of this, I speak, Lord. Thou know'st. Did I not confess before Thee my failings, my God, and didst Thou not banish the disobedience of my heart? I do not contest Thy judgment with Thee, since Thou art Truth, and I do not wish to lie to myself, lest my iniquity lies to itself. Therefore, I do not contest Thy judgment with Thee, since, "if Thou wouldst fain mark our iniquities, Lord, O my Lord, who will survive?"
[1.6.7] But yet allow me to speak in the presence of Thy mercy; though I am but dirt and ash, yet allow me to speak. Lo! for it is Thy mercy, not a person, ever my mocker, to whom I speak. And perhaps Thou art laughing at me, but upon turning towards me, Thou wilt have mercy on me. For what is it which I am ready and willing to say, Lord, if I do not say this: I know not whence I have hither come, into this, some sort of a dying life -- or is it rather a living death? I know not. And they have lifted me up, the comforts of Thy mercies, just as I have heard them from the parents of my flesh, from out of him my father and within her my mother Thou of a time gave me shape -- but I have no memory of this. And so they have nourished me, the comforts of human milk, and yet my mother -- or, if you like, even my nursemaids -- did not fill their own breasts, but through them Thou wert giving me a baby's nourishment according to what Thou hast already instilled from the beginning in all and in accordance to the wealth set therein and apace all the way to the root of all things. Thou likewise granted me to not want more than Thou wert giving, and my parents to want to give to me what Thou wert giving them; for they were ready and willing to give to me in proper proportion to what they already had in a great amount from Thee. Yea, it was a Good for them that my Good was from them, though it was not precisely from them, but rather through them -- from Thee, O God, of course, does all Good come, and from my God is my entire salvation. This I noticed later while Thou wert shouting at me through these very instincts which Thou didst allot me within and without. For at that time I learned to suckle, to find calm with what pleased me, and finally to cry at what bothered my flesh -- nothing more.
[1.6.8] After this I began to laugh. I first slept, then stayed awake. This hast been pointed out to me and I have believed it since we see other babies acting like this -- but as for me having done these things, I have no memory. And lo! gradually I began to realize where I was, and ready to indicate my desires to those through whom those desires might be fulfilled -- I was unable to do so, for my desires were within me, while my caregivers were without me, and it was not within their power to enter into my soul by any of their own facilities to understand me. And so I cast about my limbs and tried to speak, making signs which signified what I wanted, as few as I was able to make as well as I could; but they did not truly signify what I wanted. And when I was not heeded, either due to not being understood or because I was not given what would harm me, I grew indignant at my elders for not being my obedient minions and the other children for not waiting upon my whims, and I thus avenged myself for these perceived wrongs by weeping. Such are babies, I have learned, as far as I have come to learn of them; and babies themselves have pointed out to me that I once was such a one as they (though they know not of their behavior) better than my caregivers (who indeed knew better).
[1.6.8] And lo! mine infancy at one point died and then I was alive; Thou, however, Lord, both ever alive and nothing dies within Thee, since Thou art before the beginnings of the ages, even before every thing which exists or before all which is able to be spoken of, and Thou art God and Lord of all which Thou hast wrought, and in Thy presence stand the causes of all instability
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