SANCTI ANSELMI PROSLOGION - The Proslogion of St. Anselm

 

Prooemium

At the behest of certain brothers, I published a minor treatise to be an exemplar of meditating on the reason for faith; I adopted the mindset of one who investigates that which they do not know by rationalizing such matters internally with oneself. It was afterwards that I noticed that the work had been knit together by a linking chain of many thoughts and arguments; so I began to ask myself if it were perhaps possible for a single argument to be found which lacked no other additions other than itself in order to prove it, and only itself was enough in order to build up an argument that, firstly, God truly exists; and secondly, that He is the supreme good requiring no other thing, whom every-thing else requireth to exist and exist well; and thirdly, what we believe about the Divine Being.

Although I often and assiduously turned my thought to these matters, and sometimes that which I was seeking seemed to me to be already within my grasp, while othertimes it seemed to me to altogether escape the keenness of my mind, I at last began to despair and wished to cease in the whole matter as if stopping a search for a thing which is impossible to find. But when I wished to close off that thought from me lest it hinder my mind by vainly occupying it and keeping it from other tasks in which I might be able to advance, the problem then more and more began to impose itself on me with a certain degree of annoyance, though I was unwilling to yield to it and I shunned it. And so, one day, while I was wearied by resisting this annoyance with great effort, lo! in the very conflict of my thoughts, the thing which I had despaired of finding presented itself to me; the result of this was that I eagerly embraced the thought which I had so far been anxiously rejecting.

And so, thinking it worthwhile that should what I was rejoicing to have found be put to paper, it might please some reader, I have written the following minor treatise concerning this aforesaid discovery and certain others while taking on the mindset of one making an attempt to awaken their mind for contemplating God and also seeking to understand what they believe. And since I have maintained that  neither this nor that work which I have mentioned above be worthy enough to be called a book or to be labelled with an author's name, nevertheless I did not think that they ought to be published without some title by which they might come into someone's hands and in some way persuade them to read it. To that end, I have given a title to either: the previous work, Exemplum Meditandi De Ratione Fidei -- "An Example Of Meditating On The Reason For Faith", and its sequel, Fides Quaerens Intellectum -- "Faith Seeking Understanding".

But after the works had been copied by many with the two titles, several urged me (particularly the reverend Hugo, Archbishop of Lyons, who discharges the Apostolic See in Gallia and has urged me by the virtue of his Apostolic authority) to title them with my name. To make them better fit, I have named the first Monologion, that is "The Soliloquy" and the second Proslogion, that is "The Address".

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I. The Awakening Of The Mind For Contemplating God

Come now, meager person! 

Flee for a little while from what takes up thy time. 

Remove thyself for just a bit from thy restless musings. 

Now dispel thy burdensome thoughts and put aside thy toilsome occupations. 

Make but a little room for God and rest but for a little while in Him. 

"Enter into the chamber" of thy mind, keep out all apart from God and that which may aid Thee in seeking Him; and, "after locking the door", seek Him. 

Speak now, "my whole heart", speak now to God. 

"I seek Thy face, Thy face, Lord, I seek to know."

And so, come now, Thou, my Lord God: teach my heart when and how it may seek Thee, when and how to find Thee. 

Lord, if Thou art not here, then where shall I seek Thee, since Thou art not here? 

But if Thou art everywhere, why do I not see Thee when Thou art in my sight? 

But surely Thou dwell'st in "unapproachable light" -- and where is this unapproachable light? 

Or how shall I approach this unapproachable light? 

Or who shall lead me to and into it so that I may see Thee within it? 

But then by what signs, by what face shall I seek Thee? 

Never have I seen Thee, my Lord God; not have I known Thy face. 

What shall he do, highest Lord, what shall he do, this contemptuous and far-flung exile of Thine? 

What shall Thy servant do, the one who is far "thrown from Thy face"? 

Who earnestly longs to see Thee and too far away is Thy face from them. 

Desireth Thy servant to approach Thee, but unapproachable is Thy dwelling place. 

Longeth Thy servant to find Thee and knoweth not Thy place. 

Striveth Thy servant to seek Thee and knoweth not Thy countenance. 

Lord, Thou art my God and my Lord Thou art, but never have I seen Thee. 

Thou hast made me and remade me and everything good thou hast gathered for me and never have I known Thee. 

In the end, I have been made in order to see Thee and never have I done that for which I have been made. 

O wretched lot of humankind, since they have lost this for which they have been made! O that hard and dread disaster! Alas, what have they lost and what have they found! 

What hath left? 

What hath stayed? 

They have lost their blessing for which they have been made and instead have found misery for which they have not been made. 

Gone is that without which nothing is happy and stayed has that which by itself is not anything but miserable. 

"At that time was humanity tasting of the bread of the angels" which now humanity thirsts, and now tastes of the "bread of sorrow" which at that time humanity knew not. 

Alas, O shared lamentation of humanity, common grief of the sons of Adam! 

He belched with belly full of food while we pant with bellies empty; 

he was rich while we beg for alms; 

he blessedly had everything and unhappily threw it all away, while we damnably have nothing and piteously long for all he threw away;

so, alas, we yet remain bereft of all. 

Given that he might have done so easily, why did he not keep for us safe that which we so gravely lack? 

For what reason did he cleave from us the light and lead headlong into darkness? 

Why did he take from us life and inflict upon us death? 

Whence have we, a long-suffering people, been driven? 

Whither have we been forced? 

Whence have we been cast headlong, whither have we been dashed to ruin? 

From out of our homeland we have been banished, from within sight of God to our blindness. 

From the joy of deathlessness to the bitterness and horror of death. 

What a wretched change from so much good into such wickedness! 

What grave damnation! grave sorrow! -- all is grave. 

But alas, woe to me, one of the wretched sons of Eve, so far-flung from God! 

What have I started? what have I finished? 

Whither was I making my way? whence have I come? 

For what was I aiming? in what do I sigh? "I have sought goodness, and lo! found chaos". 

I stretched out for God and stumbled upon my very self. I was looking for rest within and instead "I found tribulation and sorrow". 

I wanted to laugh from joy found in my mind, and yet I was compelled "to roar from a groan of my heart". 

Happiness was hoped for, but lo! hence sighs crowd thick.

And "O Thou, Lord, how long? For how long, O Lord, willst Thou forget us? For how long dost Thou turn Thy face from us"? 

When "willst Thou look back and hearken unto" us? 

When "willst Thou a-lighten our eyes" and when "willst Thou show" to us "Thy face"?

When willst Thou restore Thee to us? 

Look back, Lord, and hearken unto us! A-lighten us! Show Thyself to us! Restore Thyself to us so that we may be well, for without Thee we shall be so ill. Have mercy on our toils and our attempts to find Thee, since we are have nothing without Thee. Invite us, "help" us! 

I beg Thee, Lord, lest I lack hope in my sighing, but so that I breathe anew by hoping. 

I beg Thee, Lord: my heart is bitter in its loneliness -- sweeten it again with Thy comfort. 

I beg Thee, Lord, that as a starving man I began to seek Thee -- let me not withdraw from Thee still wasting away. 

Famished I approached Thee -- let me not depart Thee still fasting. 

As a poor man I came to Thy riches, as a wretch came I to Thy mercy -- let me not go back empty and despised. 

And if "I sigh before I feast," then grant so that after I sigh, I feast. 

Lord, bent downwards as I am I cannot look except down; a-righten me so that I can stretch upward. 

"My iniquities cover my head" and overwhelm me -- "just as a brave burden" they weigh me down. Lead me out, lift my cares off me, lest "the pit" of my iniquities "closes its mouth o'er me". 

May I be allowed to look up at Thy light, though so far, though so high off. 

Teach me to seek Thee and show Thyself to one seeking Thee. 

For I cannot seek Thee unless Thou dost teach me -- I cannot find Thee unless Thou dost show me. 

I should seek Thee by desiring Thee; 

I should desire Thee by seeking Thee. 

I should find Thee by loving Thee; 

I should love Thee by finding Thee.

I confess, Lord, and I give Thee thanks that Thou hast created me in this, "Thine own image", so that in being reminded of Thee I should think on Thee and love Thee. 

But so rubbed away has been this image by my vices, so darkened by the fumes of my sins that it cannot do that for which it was created unless Thou renew and remake it.

I do not try, Lord, to enter into Thine height or depth, for in no way do I compare my understanding with such -- but I do desire in some way to understand Thy truth, which mine hearth believeth and loveth. 

For not do I seek to understand so that I may believe, but I believe so that I may understand. 

For I believe this: "unless I will have first believed, I will not understand."

II. That Truly Existeth God

Therefore, Lord, who grant'st understanding to faith, grant to me that, as much as Thou know'st to make it clear to me, I may understand what Thou art just as we believe, and this is what Thou art, what we believe: we believe that Thou art whatever it is greater than which nothing can be thought. Or then is there no such thing, because "saieth the fool in his heart that there is no God"? But certainly when the very same fool doth hear the following thing I say: "whatever it is greater than which nothing can be thought", he understands what he hears. And what he understands is in his understanding, even if he does not understand that is exists. For it is one thing for a substance to exist in one's understanding, and quite another to understand that the substance exists. As when the painter has in their mind ahead of time what they are intending to paint, they have it in their understanding, but not yet do they understand that exists the thing which they have not yet made. But once the painter has finished painting their picture, they both have the image in their understanding and also do they understand that exists the thing which they have now made. And so, even the fool is sure that, at least in his understanding, there exists something greater than which nothing is able to be thought, because when he hears it, he understands it, for whatever he understands exists in his understanding.

And certainly that greater than which nothing can be thought cannot  exist only in the understanding:

For if such a thing exists only in the understanding, then its existence is also able to be thought of in reality, for such a thing is greater. 

If therefore the thing greater than which nothing can be thought exists only in the understanding, then the thing greater than which nothing can be thought is actually a thing greater than which something can be thought -- but this certainly is an impossibility. Therefore without a doubt does something greater than which nothing can be thought exists both in understanding and in reality.

III. That God's Non-Existence Cannot Be Thought

Indeed, so real is God, that the non-existence of such a being cannot be thought.

For there can exist a substance the non-existence of which cannot be thought.

Such a substance is greater than a substance the non-existence of which can be thought.

For this reason, if that greater than which nothing can be thought is a substance the non-existence of which can be thought, then that thing greater than which nothing can be thought is not THE thing greater than which nothing can be thought. 

This doesn't follow.

So, in conclusion: that greater than which nothing can be thought is so real that the non-existence of such a thing cannot be thought.

And this is what Thou art, Lord our God. 

So, in conclusion: Thou art so real, Lord my God that Thine non-existence cannot be thought.

And with good reason, for if some mind were able to think of some being greater than Thee, that creature would be higher than its creator and sit in judgment o'er its creator -- this proposition is quite absurd.

Indeed whatever else exists besides Thee alone can be thought to not exist.
Therefore, alone Thou art of all things the most real, and for this reason Thou art considered to be the greatest of all things, for whatever else there is which is exists is not as real as Thou art, and so is considered lesser.

And so, why "saieth the fool in his heart that there is no God," when it is so easily apparent to a rational mind that Thou art the greatest of all things?
Why? Unless he be both stupid and a fool? 

IV. How Saieth The Fool In His Heart That Which Cannot Be Thought

But how saieth he in his heart that which he cannot think? Or how is he unable to think that which he said in his heart, since it is the same thing to say in one's heart and to think it? But if the thing is actually so --- nay, it is because the thing is actually so that he thought it, for he said it in his heart and likewise he did not say it in his heart because he was unable to think it. So not only in one way is something said in the heart and also thought. For in one way is something thought when the word which signifies the thing is thought and in another way when it is understood what the very thing is -- thus, in the former way is God able to be thought not to exist, but in no way is this possible in the latter. It is of course evident that no one who understands the being which God is able to think that God does not exist -- this is why the fool is able to say these words in his heart: either because the words are without meaning to him, or the words have other meanings for him than the ones they really signify. God is that greater than which nothing is able to be thought -- anyone who well understands that certainly understands exactly what God actually is and thusly cannot hold God's non-existence in his thought. Therefore, the one who understands what God is is unable to think of Him not existing. 

Thanks to Thee, good Lord, thanks to Thee, because what I before believed on account of Thee bestowing it unto me, I now understand on account of Thee revealing it to me in such a way that I cannot not understand, even if I do not want to believe that Thou dost exist. 

V. That God Is Whatever Better It Is To Be Than Not To Be; For He Alone Existeth By His Own Agency And Maketh Every-thing Else From No-Thing

What then art Thou, Lord God, greater than which no-thing is able to be thought? But what art Thou except that which is the sum greatest thing of all things, that which alone existeth through its own agency and made everything from no-thing. For whatever is not this being is lesser than is able to be thought. But this cannot be thought about Thee, for what good quality is lacking in the Supreme Good, through which existeth each and every good quality? For it is better to be just than not just; better blessed than not. 

VI. How Be God Able To Feel If He Be Not Bodied

Verily since it be better to be able to feel, to be all-capable, to be merciful, to be passionless than to not be these qualities, then how art Thou able to feel if Thou art not bodied, Lord? And art Thou all-capable if Thou art not able to do every-thing? And art Thou merciful at the same time Thou art passionless? For if only bodied things are able to feel, since feelings are about the body and within the body, then how art Thou able to feel if Thou art not bodied, but instead Thou art the Supreme Spirit which is greater than body?

But if the act of feeling is nothing other than the act of perceiving or the means to gain perception, then the one who feels is one who understands according to one's own feelings, like when colors are perceived through sight and flavors through taste. It would not be unsuitable for one to be said to feel something in one fashion and then also be said that they perceive it in another fashion. Therefore, Lord, although Thou art not bodied, but nevertheless Thou are able to feel every-thing in every way in that Thou are supremely perceptive of every-thing in every way, and not in the way that an animal perceives with its bodied feelings.

VII. How Be God All-Capable If He Cannot Do Many Things

But yet, in regards to omnipotency, how art Thou all-capable if Thou art not able to do every-thing? If Thou art not able to be corrupted, nor canst Thou lie, nor to make the Truth into a lie -- for that would result in fact not being fact -- and many other suchwise things. How art Thou capable of all things? 

But is this power of capability actually not potency, but impotency? For the being who is capable of doing these things is capable of doing that which is not expedient for them and that which they ought not to do. The more this being would be capable of doing these things, the more would opposition and corruption have power over them and less would they have power over opposition and corruption. Therefore, the one who is capable of doing such things would not be exercising potency, but impotency. For this reason they would not be said to be capable through their own means, but because instead they are making something capable against their very self by their own impotency. Or, by another figure of speech, the way many things are improperly described, just as when we write "existence" for "non-existence"; or "doing" in place of what is actually "not doing" or "doing nothing". For oft we say to one who says that "something doesn't exist" -- "it is just as thou saiest" when it would seem to be more appropriately said that "it is not just as thou saiest it is not". Likewise we say "that person sits" as if they were doing something, or "that person is at rest" as if they were in the middle of an action, when actually "sitting" is kind of "not doing" and "being at rest" is to "do nothing". And so, in sum, when one is said to have the capability of doing or enduring what is not expedient or what they ought not to do, this is understood to be impotency through potency. Because the more they have this potency, the more opposition and corruption would have power over them and they would be more incapable of overpowering opposition and corruption. So, Lord God, thence art Thou more true and capable for Thou art able to do no-thing through impotency and no-thing is capable of overpowering Thee.

VIII. How Be God Merciful And Passionless

But yet, how art Thou merciful, yet at the same time passionless? For if Thou art passionless, Thou cannot feel pity; if Thou dost not feel pity, then Thy heart is not full of pity due to pity for the pitiful -- for this is to be merciful. But if Thou art not merciful, whence cometh such comfort for the pitiful?

And so, how art Thou both merciful and not, Lord, unless because Thou art merciful according to us, by our perspective, but not art Thou so according to Thyself, by Thine own perspective? The reason is that Thou art so according to our sensory experience, but not art Thou according to Thine own; for when Thou consider'st us, we poor wretches, we feel the outcome (effectum) of Thee being merciful, but Thou dost not feel any affliction (affectum). In conclusion, Thou art merciful because Thou give'st salvation to the pitiful and Thou dost spare those who sin against Thee; but Thou art also not merciful because Thou are affected by no pity for misery.

IX. How Doth An Entirely and Supremely Just God Spare The Wicked And How Be It Just For Him To Have Mercy On The Wicked

But how dost Thou spare the wicked if Thou art entirely just and supremely just? For how doth an entirely and supremely just being do something not just? Or what justice is it to give to one who deserves everlasting death never-ending life instead? So whence, O good God, good to the good and the wicked alike, whence art Thou able to give salvation to the wicked, if to do so is something not just, and so Thou art doing something not just?

Or is it because Thy goodness is not able to be understood, and hideth it in that "unapproachable light in which Thou dwell'st"? Verily, in the deepest and innermost parts of Thy goodness hideth the fount whence flows the stream of Thy mercy. For even as Thou art entirely and supremely just, it is yet for this very reason that Thou art kindly towards the wicked, for Thou art entirely and supremely good. For a lesser good wouldst Thou be if Thou wert kindly to no one wicked. For better is the one who is good to both good and wicked than the one who is good only to the good. And better is the one who is good to the wicked by both punishing and sparing them than one who only punishes them. And so, for this reason, Thou art merciful, because Thou art entirely and supremely good. And since it perhaps seemeth (to us) that Thou dost reward the good with good and the wicked with wickedness, it must certainly be puzzled over as to why Thou, entirely just and lacking no-thing, reward'st the wicked and the guilty with good. O what depths of Thy goodness, God! So deep that, at a glance it can at a glance be determined it is from there that Thy mercy originates, but the source cannot be fully plumbed; it can be discerned whence the river floweth, but not surveyed is the fount whence the river is born. For it is from the fullness of Thy goodness that Thou art devoted to those who sin against Thee, and in these depths of Thy goodness hideth the reasoning as to why Thou art this way. For on the one hand, Thou, in accordance to Thy goodness, reward the good with good and the wicked with wickedness -- indeed, the whole reason for justice seemeth to demand this ordering; but on the other hand, when Thou reward'st the wicked with good -- well, it is common knowledge that the supremely good hath willed to do this and it is shocking as to why the supremely just is able to will this. 

O mercy, from what abundant sweetness and sweet abundance Thou pour'st unto us!

O immeasurable goodness of God, by what affection are sinners to love Thee!

For Thou save'st the just when justice is on their side;

But Thou free'st the wicked when justice condemns them.

Thou save'st the just when what they deserve aids them;

Thou free'st the wicked when what they deserve rebuffs them.

Thou save'st the just by recognizing in them the goodness Thou hast given;

Thou free'st the wicked by forgiving them their wickedness which Thou dost hate.

O immeasurable goodness who art surpassing all understanding, let o'er me come that mercy which floweth from such abundance of Thine!

Let flow into me what floweth from Thee.

Forgive, Thou, according to Thy forbearance, 

May'st Thou not take vengeance according to Thy justice.

For even if it is difficult to understand how Thy mercy is not inconsistent from Thy justice, it is nevertheless necessary to believe that it in no way is opposed to it because it floweth out of Thy goodness, which is naught without justice -- nay, even more, Thy mercy is in complete harmony with justice. 

For indeed, if Thou are merciful, it is because Thou art the supreme good; 

and Thou are not the supreme good if Thou not be supremely just.

Verily then, Thou art merciful because Thou are supremely just.

Help me, just and merciful God whose light I seek, help me to understand what I am saying: yea, in conclusion, the reason Thou art merciful is because Thou art just.

And so, is Thy mercy born from Thy justice? And yet also, dost Thou spare the wicked in accordance with Thy justice? If this is so, Lord, if this is so, teach me how it is. Is it because it is just that Thou be so good that Thou are unable to be understood to be better, and so powerfully Thou work'st that Thou art not able to be thought more to work more powerfully? For what is more just than this? At any rate, it could not be so that Thou wert good by only repaying and not by sparing, and if Thou wert to make only good from the non-good and not even from the wicked. And so, in this way, it is just that Thou dost spare the wicked and Thou make'st the good from the wicked. 

At last, what doth not happen justly ought not happen; and what ought not to happen doth happen unjustly. 

So, if Thou unjustly hast mercy on the wicked, then Thou ought not to have mercy; and if Thou ought not to have mercy, then Thou dost have mercy unjustly. 

But this is blasphemous to utter; instead, it is Thy will to believe that Thou justly hast mercy on the wicked. 

X. How God Doth Justly Punish and Justly Spare The Wicked

But it is just that Thou punish the wicked. For what is more just than the good receive goodness and the wicked wickedness? And so, how is it both just that Thou punish the wicked and also just that Thou spare the wicked?

Or is it in one way that Thou dost punish the wicked, and in another that Thou spare the wicked? For when Thou dost punish the wicked, it is just because it is in alignment with what they deserve; but when Thou spare the wicked, it is just -- not because it is in alignment with what they deserve, but because it in accordance with Thy goodness. For in sparing the wicked, Thou art just in Thine own perspective and not according to our own, just as Thou art merciful according to our own perspective and not according to Thine own. Since by bestowing salvation upon us whom Thou justly ought to destroy, Thou art merciful, and it is not because Thou art affected by any feeling, but because we feel the effect. 

So, Thou art just not because Thou restore to us what is owed, but because Thou doest what Thou, the supreme good, ought to do. And so thusly without any opposition dost Thou justly punish and justly spare.

XI. How Each And Every Way Of The Lord Is Mercy And Truth, And Yet Just Is The Lord In All His Ways

But is it possible that it is not also just according to Thine own perspective, Lord, to punish the wicked? Surely it is just that Thou be so just that Thou art unable to be thought of as more just. For in nowise wouldst Thou be so if Thou shouldst render only goodness to the good and not wickedness to the wicked. For more just would be the one who repays both good and wicked what is deserved than the one who merely only repays the good. 

In conclusion, it is just according to Thine own perspective, O just and kindly God, both whene'er Thou punish and also when Thou spare'st. So truthfully indeed do "each and every way of the Lord is mercy and truth", and yet, "just is the Lord in all his ways". And this is without contradiction: for those whom Thou dost will to punish, it is not just to be saved; yet those whom Thou dost will to spare, it is not just that they be damned. For only that which Thou will'st is just, and not just is that which Thou dost not will. So thusly from justice is born Thy mercy, because it is just that Thou art so just that Thou art good even by sparing. And perhaps this is why the supreme just is able to will goodness upon the wicked. But if it is possible for it to be understood by one way or another why Thou art able to will bestowing salvation upon the wicked, then it certainly cannot be explained why among like evil-doers Thou wouldst rather save through Thy supreme goodness some instead of others, and why Thou wouldst rather damn through Thy supreme justice the latter instead of the former.

So in conclusion: Thou art able to feel, and art all-capable, merciful, and passionless just as Thou art alive, wise, good, blessed, everlasting, and whatever it is to be better than to not be. 

XII. How Be God The Very Life By Which He Is Alive, And Likewise Concerning Similarities

But certainly, whatever Thou art, not through the agency of any other apart from Thyself dost Thou exist. In conclusion, Thou art the very life itself by which Thou art alive, as well as Thou art the wisdom with which Thou art wise, and the very goodness by which Thou art good to the good and the wicked. 

It is likewise concerning other similar things.

XIII. How God Alone Be Boundless And Everlasting Even Though Other Spirits Be Boundless And Everlasting

But every-thing which is limited to any extent by space and time is lesser than a being which no law of space or time restraineth. Since no-thing is greater than Thee, no space or time confineth Thee, but Thou art every-where and everlasting. So how are other spirits described as boundless and everlasting?

And indeed alone Thou art everlasting because alone out of every-thing Thou dost not die and Thou is not birthed. But how alone art Thou boundless? Is a created spirit when compared to Thee bound, but unbound when compared to a bodied being? For a bodied being is entirely bound because when its entire body is one place, it cannot at the same time exist in another place, a distinction which describes only bodied beings. But the boundless being on the other hand is entirely every-where at the same time, a distinction which is understood to describe Thee alone. In addition, a being which is at the same time bound and boundless is one which while its entire form is in one place, its entire form can also be in another place at the same time; however, such a being does not exist every-where at once. Such a being is known as a created spirit. For if the entirety of the soul were not in every single limb of its body, it would not entirely feel while in each limb. And so, Thou, Lord, art singularly boundless and everlasting, and yet there are other spirits boundless and everlasting.

XIV. How And Why God Appeareth And Not Appeareth To Those Seeking Him

Hast thou found, my soul, for what thou wert searching? Thou wert searching for God and thou hast found him to be the supreme of all things, better than which no-thing is able to be thought; and God is life itself, and light, wisdom, goodness, everlasting blessedness and blessed everlastingness; God is everywhere and everlasting. 

For if thou hast not found thy God, then how is He this being which thou hast found and which thou hast understood to be Him with such unwavering truth and true unwavering? But if thou hast found Him then why dost thou not feel that thou hast found Him? Why doth my soul not feel Thee, Lord God, if my soul hath found Thee?

Hath indeed my soul not found Thee, whom it found to be light and truth? For how doth it understand this being, except by seeing light and truth? Or is it able to understand anything at all of Thee, except through "Thy light and Thy truth"? 

So, if my soul saw light and truth, then it saw Thee. 

If it did not see Thee, then it did not see light nor truth. 

Or are both truth and light particulars which my soul hath seen, but yet not yet hath it seen Thee because it saw Thee only to a certain extent, but not did it see Thee "just as Thou art"?

O Lord my God, creator and recreator mine, tell to my soul desiring to know what else Thou art than what it seeth so that it may correctly and purely see what it desireth. It strains to see beyond its sight, and no-thing doth it see beyond this which it seeth apart from darkness. Nay even more, it doth not see "darkness which there is none within Thee," but it seeth that it cannot see farther on account of its own darkness. Why is this, Lord -- why is this? Darkened is its eye by its own feebleness, or is it beaten back by Thy dazzling splendor? But certainly it is both being darkened within itself and being beaten back from Thee. My soul is every-where both o'ershadowed by its own meagerness and undone by Thine immeasurability. Yea, it is hemmed in by its own narrowing and blown away by Thine own vastness. For how great is that light of Thine from which shineth every truth and giveth light to the rational mind! How vast is that truth in which existeth every-thing which is true and beyond it is naught but no-thing and lies! How immeasurable is that truth which seeth within a single glance whatever it is which hath been made as well as by whom and through whose agency and how it all hath been made from no-thing. What purity, what simplicity, what certainty and splendor is there! Certainly it is more than can be understood by a creation. 

XV. That God Be Greater Than Can Be Thought Possible

And so, Lord, not only art Thou greater than which no-thing is able to be thought, but also Thou art indeed greater than can be thought possible. For since some-thing of the following sort can be thought, such as, if Thou art not this very being, then something else is able to be thought greater than Thee; but this is not possible. 

XVI. That Unapproachable Be This Light In Which God Dwelleth

Truly, God, this is the "unapproachable light in which Thou dwell'st". 

For truly there is no other which enter'th into it to see Thee there.

For this reason truly do I not see this light, for it is too much for me. But yet, whatever I do see, I see because of this light, just as a weakened eye seeth what it doth because of the light of the sun; but towards the light coming from the very sun itself it cannot lift up its gaze. Unable is mine understanding to lift itself up to that light, for too brightly it burneth; mine understanding cannot grasp that light, nor endureth the eye of my soul to look upon it for too long. 

It is beaten back by its brilliance; 

devastated by its vastness; 

impaired by its immeasurability; 

dumbfounded by its prodigiousness. 

O supreme and unapproachable light, O whole and blessed truth which thou art so far from me who am so near to thee! How far away art thou from my sight when I am so close at hand to thine own sight!

At hand thou art every-where, and yet I see thee not! "Within thee am I moved and within thee I exist" and to thee I am unable to approach. Within me and about me thou art, even though I feel thee not. 

XVII. That Be Within God Harmony, Smell, Taste, and Beauty After His Own Indescribable Way

Hitherto, Lord, hast Thou been hidden from my soul in Thy light and blessings, and for this reason hath my soul hitherto wandered about in its own darkness and misery. 

For it looks about to and fro and seeth it not Thy beauty. 

It harkens and heedeth it not Thy music. 

It breathes in deeply and perceiveth it not Thy smell. 

It tastes and recognizeth it not Thy taste. 

It touches and feeleth it not Thy smoothness.

For Thou hast such things as these, my Lord God, within Thee according to Thine own indescribable manner; and Thou hast given these qualities to Thy created beings according to their own manner of feeling. 

But rigid, but dulled, but sluggish are the senses of my soul, made so by the long-lingering listlessness of sin.

XVIII. That Within God Be No Parts, Nor Be There Parts To His Eternity (Which Is God Himself)

And again, "lo! trouble!" 

Lo again, sadness and grief lie in wait for one seeking "joy and happiness"! 

My soul has long already hoped for fullness, but lo! again it is undone by want! 

I have been long trying to eat, but lo! I am more hungry! 

I was trying to rise up out towards the light of God, but I feel into my own darkness. 

Nay even more, not only did I fall into my darkness, but I feel that have become enveloped by it. I fell even before "my mother conceived me". Certainly, "I was conceived" in that darkness, and under their shade was I born. Certainly, in ages past we all fell due to Adam, "in whom we all have sinned". In him we have all lost what he effortlessly had within his possession and ill did he lose it for himself and for all of us -- for when we want something, we know not how to seek it; when we seek something, we find it not; when we find it, it is not what we are seeking. 

Thou help me, "on account of Thy goodness, Lord! "I have sought Thy countenance, for Thy countenance, Lord, I shall search. Turn not Thy face from me!" Lift me up from myself towards Thee. 

Cleanse, heal, sharpen, "enlighten" the eye of my mind "to gaze upon Thee". Renewed in strength is my soul and again it turns with mine entire understanding towards Thee, Lord. 

What art Thou, Lord? What art Thou? What doth my heart understand Thee to be? Certainly, Thou art life, Thou art wisdom, Thou art truth, Thou art goodness, Thou art blessedness, Thou art eternity, and Thou art every true good. Many are these things, and my narrow understanding is unable to see so many things at once and the same time with the outcome that it is delighted by all of them at one and the same time. How then, Lord, art Thou all these things? Or are they parts of Thee, or rather, each and every one of them is entirely what Thou art? For whatever is joined by parts is not altogether one and the same thing, but in some way or another is plural and different from itself; further, by either physical, or even mental activity the thing can be divided into its parts. But this division is unknown to Thee, O Lord, better than which no-thing is able to be thought. Therefore, there are no parts within Thee, Lord; neither art Thou plural, but Thou art so one and the same to Thine own very self that Thou art unlike Thine own very self in no way. Nay even more Thou art oneness itself, divisible by no understanding. 

And so, life and wisdom and the rest are not parts of Thee, but all are one, and each and every one of these are entirely what Thou art, and what all the rest are. And so, since neither hast Thou parts, then neither doth Thine eternity have parts, for Thou art Thine eternity. No-where and not ever existeth a part of Thee or a part of Thine eternity, but every-where and intact art Thou, and Thine eternity is forever intact.

XIX. That God Not Exist In Space Or In Time, But Every-Thing Exist In Him

But if through Thine eternity Thou hast been, and Thou art, and Thou shalt be, and the past is not the future and the present is not the past or even the future -- then how is Thine eternity forever intact? Is it not so that no-thing passeth away from Thine eternity such that it no longer existeth? Is it not likewise that no-thing is to come into existence as if it already doth not exist? Therefore, not wert Thou yesterday, nor willst Thou be tomorrow, but yesterday and today and tomorrow Thou art. Nay even more, neither yesterday, nor today, nor tomorrow Thou art, but simply Thou art outside of all time. For yesterday and today and tomorrow have no other meaning outside of time; but Thou, as nothing could possibly exist without Thee, Thou still art not in space or time, but every-thing is in Thee. For no-thing containeth Thee, but Thou contain'st all things.

XX. That God Be Before And Beyond Every-Thing, Even Everlasting Things

And so Thou fill'st up and embrace'st every-thing; Thou art before and beyond every-thing. And indeed, Thou art before every-thing because "before every-thing could exist, Thou art". But how art Thou beyond every-thing? For in what way art Thou beyond that which will not have an end?

It is because they cannot exist to any extent without Thee? and Thou art lesser in no way even if they return to no-thing? For in this way art Thou somehow beyond them. 

And is it also that they can be thought to have an end, but Thou canst by no means likewise? For in this way do they somehow have an end, but Thou in no way dost not. And certainly whatever being in no way hath an end is beyond any being which is ended in some way or another. 

And is it also in this way that Thou transcend'st even everlasting things because Thine and their eternity is wholly intact and present within Thee, while they do not yet possess that part of their eternity which has yet to come to pass, just as they do not now possess what hath come already come to pass? 

Indeed, in this way Thou art forever beyond them while Thou art forever present within Thyself, or while there resideth a part which is ever present within Thee to which they not yet have come. 

XXI. Be This The Age of The Age Or The Ages of Ages?

So, is this the age of the age or the ages of the ages? 

For just as an age of time doth contain all things temporal, in this way doth Thine eternity contain even the very ages of time. Indeed, this age is on account of its indivisible unity; but ages, on the other hand, are called so on account of their endless immeasurability. 

And although Thou art so great, Lord, that every-thing be full of Thee and be within Thee, nevertheless art Thou without all space such that neither middle nor halfway nor any part exist within Thee.

XXII. That God Alone Be What He Is And Who He Is

And Thou art alone, Lord, what Thou art and Thou art who Thou art. For what is the being which existeth wholly intact at one instant and yet in pieces at another, and in which there is something changeable and is not altogether what it is? 

And what this being which hath begun from non-existence and is able to be thought to not exist and, unless it surviveth through another, returneth to non-existence?

Even more, what is this being which hath a past self which no it longer is and a future self which is not yet?

This being does not actually and fully exist as described.

But Thou art what Thou art because whatever, whenever, and in whatever way Thou art, Thou art wholly intact for-ever.

And Thou art who Thou actually and simply art because neither dost Thou possess a past or a future, but only a present existence, nor art Thou able to be thought to not exist at any time. 

And Thou art life and light and wisdom and blessedness and eternity and many of these sorts of good things, and yet Thou art the one supreme good. Thou, altogether sufficient to Thyself and requiring no-thing, art what every-thing else requireth to live and live well.  

XXIII. That This Good Be Equally The Father And The Son And The Holy Spirit; And This Be The One Necessary Being, A Being Which Is Every Good And Entirely Good And Only Good

This good Thou art, God the Father. 

This is Thy Word, by another name, Thy Son. 

For no-thing else is possible than what Thou art, either greater or lesser than Thee, to exist within the Word, in which Thou declare'st Thine own very self. 

Since Thy Word is true just as how Thou art truthful, and for this reason it is Truth itself just as Thou art, no-thing other than Thee. And Thou art so simple that from Thee naught can be born other than what Thou art. And this very good is Love, one and in common with Thee and Thy Son, otherwise known as the Holy Spirit which proceedeth from both. For the same Love is not unequal to Thee or to Thy Son; because Thou love'st Thyself and Him just as He loveth Thee and Himself as much as Thou exist'st and He existeth. And naught else proceedeth from Thee or from Him which is not unequal to Thee or Him. And naught else can proceed from this supreme simplicity other than what this being, from which it proceedeth, is. But that being is comprised of separate entities, each of which existeth together at the same time as the Trinity, the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit. Since each separate entity is naught else than the supreme simple oneness and supreme one simplicity which can neither be multiplied nor be some-thing other than it is. 

"For there is a single necessary being."

For this is that single necessary being in which resideth every good -- nay even more, it is every single good, and it is entirely good, and it is only good.  

XXIV. A Conjecture: What Sort and Size Be This Good

Awaken now, my soul, and lift up thine entire understanding! 

Now think as intently as thou art able!

What sort and size be that good described above?

For if every single good thing is delightful and to be desired, think hard, thou: how delightful and to be desired be that good which containeth the joyfulness of all good things? As created things, we have not experience in the kind of difference the two, but we realize that there is as much a difference as between a creator and their creations. 

For if good is created life, then how good is life the creator? 

If health and care are to be enjoyed, how enjoyable is that health and care which cares for every-one's health?

If the wisdom of the created universe is to be cherished, then how cherished is to be that wisdom which hath created the universe from no-thing?

Finally, if manifold and great are the delights found in delightful things, then of what sort and size is the delight found in Him who made these delights themselves?

XXV. What And How Many Are The Goods For Those Who Enjoy This Good

Oh, who will enjoy this good? What will they possession and what will they not? Certainly whatever they will desire will exist and what they will not desire will not exist. For there will be goods of the body and of the soul, the sort which "neither eye hath seen nor ear hath heard nor human heart" hath thought. 

Therefore, why dost thou wander so much, meager person, in seeking the goods of thy soul and thy body? Love the one good, in which there exist all the goods and it is enough. Desire the simple good which is every good and is enough. 

For what dost thou love, my flesh? 

What dost thou desire, my soul?

There it is! There is whatever ye love, whatever ye desire!

If beauty delighteth thee, then there "shall the just blaze like the sun".

If speed or strength or freedom of body against which no-thing can stand delight thee, then they "shall be like unto the angels of God", for "birthed they were as animal bodies, but rise they shall as bodies spiritual" in power, but not in nature.

If a long and healthy life delighteth thee, then there be an eternity of health and the health of eternity, for "may the just live forever and the salvation of the just cometh from the Lord".

If the slaking of hunger pleaseth thee, then they will be slaked "when appeareth the glory of God".

If the quenching of thirst pleaseth thee, then "they will be quenched by the overabundance of the house of God".

If the melody of song pleaseth thee, then there the angelic choirs sing to God harmoniously and without end. 

If any not unclean, but clean pleasure delighteth thee, then God "shall from a flood of His own pleasure let them drink".

If wisdom delighteth Thee, then the very wisdom of God show itself to them.

If friendship delighteth Thee, then they shall cherish God more than they do themselves, and then one another as if they cherished themselves, and God shall cherish them more than they cherish themselves; for they cherish Him and they cherish each other because of Him, and He cherisheth Himself and them because of Himself.

If harmony delighteth Thee, then for all shall be a single will, because they shall have no other apart from the will of God alone. 

If power delighteth Thee, then they shall be all-capable to pursue their will, as God pursueth His own. For as God will be able to do so because He shall will it by His own agency, just so shall they be able to do that which they shall will through His agency. For as they shall have no other will than what God wills, just so shall they not will anything else other than what He wills, and what He shall will shall be whatever they shall will; and what He shall will shall not be able to not existence.

If distinction and riches delight thee, then God "shall establish [his own] to be good and loyal servants above many"; nay even more, they shall be "sons of God" and gods "they shall be called" even so. And where shall there be His Son, there they shall be, "indeed the heirs of God, co-heirs besides of Christ". 

If true safety delighteth Thee, then certainly they shall be assured that never and in no way shall those goods -- or rather, that one good -- fail them, just as they shall be assured that they shall not lose that good by their own accord, nor shall God who loveth them remove that good from those who love it if they be unwilling to lose it; nor shall anything more powerful than God separate God from them if they be willing to be separated.

But what sort and amount of joy is there where there is so great and so much good? Human heart, needy heart, heart knowledgeable of sorrows, nay even more, brought to ruin by sorrows -- how much wouldst thou rejoice, O heart, if thou shouldst be overflowing in all these ways? Ask thy feelings if they could grasp or contain their own joy in such a blessed happiness as they experience.

For certainly if there should be anyone else whom thou dost cherish as much as thou dost cherish thyself who should experience this same blessed happiness, then doubled shall be thine own joy because no less joyful art thou on behalf of them than thou art for thyself. But if two or even three or more others should experience the same, then such the same for each of them wouldst thou be joyful as thou wouldst for thyself if thou didst love each of them as thou love'st thyself. So, in that perfect charity of the countless blessed angels and humans where none cherisheth any other less than themselves, and no otherwise will rejoice any for anyone else in any way other than they would for themselves.

So if the heart of humankind shall scarcely grasp its own joy from such good it experiences, then how shall it grasp so many and so great joys? And since any cherisheth anyone in proportion to how they shall rejoice in the other's good, just so shall each and every single one of them in that perfect happiness shall love God without compare and more than themselves and all the others with them; thus shall they rejoice beyond reckoning in the happiness of God more than they would in their own and in anyone else's with them

But if they shall cherish God so much with their entire heart, their entire mind, and their entire soul, such that their entire heart, their entire mind, their entire soul shall not be enough given the worth of this love; so thus they shall rejoice with their entire heart, their entire mind, and their entire soul so that their entire heart, their entire mind, and their entire soul shall not be enough given the fullness of this joy.

XXVI. Be This The "Full Joy" Which Promiseth The Lord?

My God and my Lord, my hope and the joy of my heart, tell to my soul if this is the joy about whom Thou tell'st us through Thy Son: 

"Ask ye for it and ye shall receive so that your joy be full."

For I have found a full joy, and it is more than full. Yea, since full is the heart, full is the mind, full is the soul, and full is the whole person with that particular joy, then joy even beyond measure shall remain. So not shall that entire joy enter unto those rejoicing, but entirely shall those rejoicing enter unto joy.

Speak, Lord; speak to thy servant's inmost heart, if this is the joy unto which shall enter Thy servants who shall enter "unto the joy of the[ir] Lord". But certainly that joy in which Thy chosen shall rejoice "neither hath eye seen, nor ear harken, nor hath climbed into the heart of humankind". So not yet have I said or thought, Lord, how much Thy blessed own shall rejoice. And they shall rejoice in proportion to their love -- they shall love as much as they shall know. How much then shall they know Thee, Lord? How much shall they love thee? Assuredly, "neither hath eye seen, nor ear harken, nor hath climbed into the heart of humankind" in this life how much they shall know Thee and love thee in that life.

God, I pray to know Thee, to love Thee, to rejoice in Thee. And if I am unable in this life to achieve fullness, may I advance day by day until I come to that fullness. Here may familiarity with Thee advance within me, and there may it become full. May grow Thy love, and there may it be full, so that here my joy be great in hope, and there in reality let it be full. 

Lord, through Thy Son Thou dost command -- nay, Thou dost advise us to ask for it; and then Thou dost promise that we shall receive "so that [our] joy be full".

Lord, I ask for what Thou dost advice through our wonderous Counsellor, that I receive what Thou dost promise through Thy truth, "so that [my] joy be full". Truthful God, I ask Thee, so I shall receive "so that [my] joy be full". In the meantime, may my mind meditate thence, may thence speak my tongue. May my heart love that joy, may my mouth proclaim it. May my soul hunger for it, may my flesh thirst for it, may my entire being desire it, until I enter "unto the joy of my Lord", who is The Three And The One God "blessed for ever and ever. Amen".